


wishing you were somehow here again

by icantcountthereasonsishouldstay



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst, So much angst, but still so much angst, it ends on a slightly optimistic note, pierce is already dead but im tagging major character death anyway, this is literally just gilbert dealing with losing pierce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 12:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11081370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icantcountthereasonsishouldstay/pseuds/icantcountthereasonsishouldstay
Summary: Gilbert deals with losing Pierce.





	wishing you were somehow here again

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I felt so cheated that we didn't get to see Gilbert AT ALL after Pierce died. Like, they were brothers and living together??? They were important to each other, dammit. Let us see Gilbert react to his death.

Gilbert wandered aimlessly around the mansion. He couldn’t believe it. Pierce was really gone. His brother would never come back.  _ Brother _ . The word stuck in Gilbert’s mind. It seemed crazy that barely a year ago, Gilbert was all alone with no family. His dad refused to acknowledge, his mother was dead, and his only living relative was Pierce, who didn’t even know they were related. He had resented Pierce, hated him for everything he had and didn’t appreciate. Gilbert chuckled sadly at the memory. Oh, how things had changed. Gilbert never would have thought that Pierce would willingly let him win the video game for his dad’s inheritance, let alone help him win, and that’s when he first realized maybe Pierce wasn’t like their father after all. Gilbert remembered going to the mansion that night. Pierce didn’t realize he didn’t own it anymore. Gilbert had thought about telling him to leave, but he realized that, aside from the study group, Pierce was just as alone as he was. So, Gilbert let him stay. He didn’t know how to tell him, so he just helped Pierce without him noticing. Gilbert always liked helping people, and now, he was helping his family again. Family who acknowledged that they were related. Family that didn’t purposely ignore his existence. Family that didn’t think less of him because of his race. Looking back on it, it was strange how they both had what the other one had always wanted. Pierce had a relationship with his father, who paid very close attention to him. Gilbert was basically ignored by his father, who wanted nothing to do with him. Gilbert sighed. The grass is always greener. Besides, Gilbert had realized Cornelius was a huge dick. For so long, he had been blinded by his need for a father-son relationship, so he ignored all the horrible things Cornelius said and did. He only realized how shitty Cornelius was when he won the game, and Cornelius wanted to make him deny their relationship. Pierce was a better brother to Gilbert in one day than Cornelius was a father in his entire life.  

Gilbert was suddenly shaken out of his thoughts when he wandered in front of Pierce’s room. He hadn’t been in since he found out. Gilbert didn’t know what he wanted to do. Should he leave Pierce’s things alone? Or should he pack up his stuff and get rid of it? He didn’t know what would be less painful. Either way, he had to go in the room first. Gilbert took a deep breath. Going in would make this all seem real. He still felt like Pierce was going to walk through the door, make an inappropriate joke, and sit down to talk about their day. Pierce would talk about whatever antics the study group had been up to, and Gilbert would talk about whatever new things he’d been trying. He’d never had so much free time and money before. He was enjoying it, and Pierce seemed to be happy for him. Gilbert gathered his strength and opened the door. Everything was the way Pierce had left it. It almost felt like he was still here. Gilbert was suddenly overwhelmed by emotion as it finally hit him: Pierce was really gone. His last family member had left him. He collapsed on the bed, sobbing. Why couldn’t he have a family? Just once, without it being taken away. He lost everything all over again when Pierce died. He was truly alone now. He had no more family. The mansion suddenly seemed huge, cold, and empty. Without Pierce, did he really want to keep living here? Before, he had a reason to stay. What reason did he have now? He couldn’t sell it. It was the last connection he had to Pierce, but he could still leave. He’d been left another house as part of his inheritance. Maybe he should go there. Pierce’s study group had thought the house was haunted once. Well, now they were right. However, it wasn’t a ghost that haunted Gilbert. It was the memories. Eating dinner together in the kitchen, talking in the living room, helping Pierce get to sleep at night, Pierce getting locked in the panic room. No one room was without its memories.

As Gilbert continued sobbing, his mind couldn’t help but drift to the moment when he found out that Pierce was dead. He was out buying groceries when the paramedics called. They told Gilbert that Pierce had had a heart attack and that he needed to come to the hospital right away. Gilbert rushed to the hospital, but he was too late. Pierce was already dead when he got there. The doctor gave him his condolences and left him alone to process everything. After what seemed like an eternity, Pierce’s lawyer came up to him. He told Gilbert that Pierce left him everything, except what he left the study group. He also told him that, as part of Pierce’s will, everyone else was to be told that his cause of death was dehydration due to masterbation. Even in death, Pierce still wanted to seem cool. He was also told that the study group would be given a lie detector test before they received their inheritance to mess with them. Gilbert couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. Pierce would be the one to pull one last prank, even in death. Then, the lawyer gave him a letter from Pierce that he had written when they finalized his will in case he died before Gilbert. Gilbert stared at it in shock. He hadn’t been able to open it. Reading it would be the last time Pierce ever said anything to him, and he wasn’t ready. He still wasn’t ready now. He pulled the letter out of his jacket pocket, still unopened. He knew he’d have to read it at some point, but he still didn’t feel ready. He put it back in his pocket. He’d read it another day.

Gilbert decided to decide what to do with Pierce’s things later. He just couldn’t be in his room anymore. He wandered back into the kitchen where he saw the lava lamp sitting on the table. He’d left it there after he’d gotten back from the funeral. Gilbert had never completely understood Pierce’s religion, but it had obviously been important to him, so he tried to be supportive. Gilbert hadn’t truly realized it was a cult with crazy beliefs until the funeral. They’d put Pierce’s “life force” or something into two lava lamps and gave one to him and one to the study group. They’d called the lava lamps something else, but Gilbert honestly didn’t care anymore. Pierce was gone, and this religion was obviously a cult that just took people’s money. He only stayed for the whole funeral out of respect for Pierce. Towards the end, they asked people to come up and say a few words about Pierce. Everyone in his study group had gone up and said something nice about him. Gilbert tried not to let it bother him. The only two who’d really ever been nice to him were Annie and, to some extent, Abed. Still, none of them truly appreciated Pierce until he was gone. Why couldn’t they have said any of these nice things while he was alive? Gilbert decided not to go up and say anything. What would it change? Pierce would still be dead, and sitting through the whole funeral was enough indulgement for these crazy people. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of the lava lamp. Even though he knew it was crazy, he knew Pierce would want him to keep it. Gilbert sighed as he sat down at the table. 

While ordering his food, he thought about Pierce’s letter. Pierce obviously wrote it for him to read, but Gilbert wasn’t ready to admit it was over. He pulled out the letter again and set it on the table. He knew what Pierce would want him to do. He gathered up his strength and opened the letter. He stared at the open letter for what seemed like forever. All he had to do was take it out of the envelope and read it. No big deal. He could do this. He started to take it out but thinking about losing Pierce for good caused him to cry again. Taking a deep breath and not wanting to disappoint Pierce, he pulled out the letter and started to read:

 

_ Gilbert, _

_ If you’re reading this, I’m dead, and you’re not. Well, I guess you could be dead and just haunting my lawyer or something. Don’t scare him too badly, he’s kind of a little girl. Anyway, not the point. Look, I know you don’t have other family and that this might be hard for you. Just think of this as an opportunity to find a new family. There was a long time that I felt like I had no one, and then I found the study group and you. Suddenly, I wasn’t alone anymore, even though sometimes I wished I was. That was about the study group, not you. I want to be clear on that. That’s why they get the lie detector prank, and you don’t. That’s a funny one, the lie detector prank. You should use it, sometime. My lawyer can hook you up for when you have people you wanna mess with. Anyway, find a new family. Find a hot wife with huge cans, or just a lady friend, or a bunch of lady friends if you know what I mean (I mean sex, if that was unclear. Kinda like the time I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom. Did I ever tell you about that?). Marriage doesn’t usually work out for Hawthornes, so lady friends might be the best way to go. Anyway, a friend once told me if you have friends, you have family. Find your family, Gilbert. Even Hawthornes deserve family (except dad, he can rot in hell). You were the only Hawthorne I ever considered family. Even though I only recently found out you were my brother, you were the best brother I could have ever asked for. _

_ Love, _

_ Your brother Pierce _

 

Gilbert stared at the letter, tears filling his eyes again. Pierce had called him a Hawthorne, something Cornelius refused to do. He glanced over the letter again. His eyes kept going back to one line:  _ Find your family, Gilbert _ . Gilbert started crying for real again. He  _ had  _ found his family, and he had lost it. He looked at the lava lamp and thought about Pierce. He found his family later in life. If Pierce could do it, so could he. For the first time since Pierce died, he felt hope. He still wasn’t ready to move on, but now he knew he could. He’d find more family like Pierce did. He’d make Pierce proud to be his brother. When the doorbell rang, Gilbert got up to go get his food. As he was leaving the kitchen, he paused. He turned around and grabbed the lava lamp and letter. On his way to the door, he put them both above the fireplace. He decided he wouldn’t move after all. Sure, the house was haunted by memories, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Maybe he didn’t want to forget. His brother was gone, but he still had his memories. And maybe one day, he’d have more family to help fill the house with more memories. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Phantom of the Opera if anyone wanted to know.


End file.
